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(no subject) [Oct. 20th, 2005|02:01 am]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]

have you ever felt that you are screaming at the top of your lungs in the middle of a room and noone stops to even look? yeah well welcome to my world!

i love you but i just don't know what you are thinking sometimes-- do you really want to be with me? what about our future if you do want to be with me? Oh and if you do want to be with me tell these little girlies to back the fuck off!
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(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2005|04:25 pm]
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]
[Current Music |montgomery gentry-- my town]

ok so i know that i haven't updated in forever!
jenny: i hope all went well
beth: come home- i miss you
ber: ber, what can i say "mister wonderful" hahaha

you know i have realized that no matter what i do i will never be good enough for my parents- even though i did get that job in houston it doesn't matter to them- all i get is wow it sounds fishy
yeah ok whatever

so last week on tuesday i went for a babysitting interview and the woman said she would call me back friday yeah right just tell me i don't like you- ha for real or at least call when you say you are going to - i tried calling and she never answered too bad that was not professional!

umm other than that went to houston- got a job declined the offer

came home had a wonderful night drinking and spending time with my baby! :) 2 hours what?

jason just left today but i know he'll be back soon

umm still looking for a job up here- i'm about to go to bob evans for crying out loud-- hey beth did you like it there? and if i do go there can i use you as a reference?

i must be moved out of my apt by saturday night and moved into the duplex by then cause we all know i must be at the italian festival on sunday by noon or so and then i have jury duty all that next week and on friday i go to MIS to help the TKE boys out with a fundraiser-- remember all that people do for you guys! then if i don't get a case i come up and on monday the first i sign a lease and by the 4th need to be moved in by 12 noon because i have appts all day down state thursday and friday!

so if you wanna come up and ride on the bus for my birthday i need your address and a donation of $5 per person cause not only is there a bus but i'm hoping i can bring a keg on it!!!

the new address will be: 1000 West Wheeler Midland MI 48640--- not sure on the zip quite yet!

other than that wish me luck and i miss ya'll
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(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2005|04:16 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]

Your power colors: blue and aqua

Your energy: deep

Your season: winter

Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion.
You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul.
A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem.
You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream.

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.

You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.
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(no subject) [Jul. 10th, 2005|01:36 am]
[Current Mood |uncomfortableuncomfortable]
[Current Music |usher-- (cause it's on in the garage!)]

amber this update is for you...because you alwayse question why i don't update anymore! lol

why is it that one person can make you cry so much? i don't get it....

"today is the yesterday we will think about tomorrow"

ya know i just wanted one answer this weekend and i told you we would never talk about it!

this little rant that will go on in a second isn't about one person so don't take it that way-- got it!
i hate that people don't tell me things, that they hold them back and then months down the road i find out about them.
i don't know what i want anymore-- i thought that i had something and now i'm not too sure i ever saw it or had ahold of it in the first place.

ryan i hope you are feeling better!
mike i hope things will look up for us soon-- not like us but our situations
amber and beth i miss you!
other than that i'm done can't think of anything else to say without pouring my heart out so have a great night---pc
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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2005|07:47 pm]
check which ones you have watched!! DOES THIS SURPRISE ANYONE? I HAVE SEEN 127 OF THESE MOVIES!!!!
(x)Napoleon Dynamite
( )White Noise
()White Oleander
(x)Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
( )Jason X
(x )Scream
(x )Scream 2
(x)Scream 3
(x )Scary Movie
(x)Scary Movie 2
(x)Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
(x)American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
()Harry Potter 3
(x)Resident Evil I
(x)Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
(x )Little Black Book
()The Village
(x)Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
(x)13 Ghosts
(x)The Grinch
(x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre (I mean the original)
(x)White Chicks
(x)Butterfly Effect
(x)Thirteen going on 30
(x)I Robot
( )Universal Soldier
()A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x)Along Came A Spider
( )Deep impact
()Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
(x)Meet The Fockers
(x)Eight Crazy Nights
(x)A Cinderella Story
()The Terminal
()The Lizzie McGuire Movie
()Passport to Paris
(x)Dumb & Dumber
(x)Dumb & Dumberer
(x)Final Destination
(x)Final Destination 2
(x)The Ring
( )The Ring 2
()Harold & Kumar (white castle)
()Practical Magic
(x)Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
(x)Secret Window
(x)I Am Sam
()The Whole Nine Yards
()The Whole Ten Yards
(x)The Day After Tomorrow
()Child's Play
()Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
(x)Just Married
(x)A Nightmare on Elm Street
(x)Sixteen Candles
(x)Bad Boys 2
(x)Joy Ride
(x)Seven (SE7EN)
(x)Oceans Eleven
(x)Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
( )Predator I
( )Predator II
(x)Independence Day
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(x)Children of the Corn
()My boss' daughter
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best bet
(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x)She's All That
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
( )Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x)X-men 1
(x)X-men 2
(x)Jeepers Creepers
(x)Jeepers Creepers 2
(x)Catch Me If You Can
(x)The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
(x)Cruel Intentions
(x)The Hot Chick
(x)Old School
( )Ray
(x)The Notebook
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
()Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x)A Walk to Remember
( )Back Door Sluts 9
(x)The Fifth Element
()Star wars episode I
( )Star wars episode II
( )Star wars episode IV
( )Star wars episode V
( )Star wars episode VI
(x )Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
(x)Sound of music
(x)Parent Trap
( )The Burbs
(x)The Terminator
(x)SLC Punk
(x)Meet Joe Black
( )Wild girls
( )A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
(x)Spiderman 2
( )Amelie
(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek 2
()The Incredibles
(x)The Fast & The Furious
(x)2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
(x)The Sixth Sense
(x)Artificial intelligence (AI)
()Love actually
( )Shutter
()Ella Enchanted
(x)Princess diaries 1
()Princess diaries 2
( )Million Dollar Baby
( )Envy
(x)Malibu's Most wanted
(x)Big Daddy
(x)Black Sheep
(x)the breakfast club
(x )West Side Story
(x)A Christmas Story
(x)Pulp Fiction
( )The Evil Dead
( )Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( )The seed of chucky
(x)Vanilla Sky
(x)Nightmare Before Christmas
( )Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
(x)Interview With The Vampire
( )The Crow
(x)Purple Rain
(x)Reservoir Dogs
(x )Wayne's World
(x)Wayne's World 2
( )21 Grams
()Edward Scissorhands
( )Clerks
(x)Mall Rats
( )Chasing Amy
(x)Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
( )Last Samurai
(x) Pearl Harbor
(x)Phantom of the Opera
(x)National Treasure
( ) Cinderella Man
(x) Longest Yard
(x)Mr Deeds
()After the Sunset
() Raise your voice
(x)Daddy daycare
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APOLOGY [Jun. 22nd, 2005|03:43 pm]
[Current Mood |crappyshitty]
[Current Music |making memories of us-- keith urban]

i know that i pour my heart out on here sometimes and it's not fair to some-- i'm sorry i know that you need time and you can have it-- you know i'll always be here

sorry-- i hope you realize that! and i'll tell you everything that you want to know
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2005|03:29 pm]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

alright for all of you that want to know what i think about you this is an entry for you to read!

1. I love that I can come to you with anything and I know you will try and help me through it and that you will do all you can; even if it is just giving advice!
2. Ignition- haha Hey Love-- The sweetest thing-- that is sooo us stopping to get clothes
3. 5am because that's when we go to bed if we went to bed
4. best- you are my best friend and you always will be- don't forget you will be my maid of honor
5. Jason mraz concert, and you hiding in Sean's closet, ER party
6. Monkey and now a Cow hahahhaah i know you know what i'm talking about
7. I wish I knew more about your dad and would like you to talk to me about it

1. I like that you give advice from what I have to say and that even if i don't want to talk you get it out of me
2. family guy-- we always watched that shit over at justin's
3. 11pm - that's when we always went to go get more beer
4. fun- we always have fun together
5. tequilla night
6. a worm for the same reason as number 5
7. more about your home life

Jenny D:
1. your LOUD and SO AM I!
2. 5 o'clock somewhere- you were always drinkin when i saw you or see you for that matter
3. 5
4. Outragous- you think of the craziest things
5. talking in your room before your formal
6. a hen because we always have some serious "boy" conversations
7. just more we never really hung out just the two of us

WOW! i'm glad that is over- haha it's hard to think about some of those things
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(no subject) [Jun. 20th, 2005|10:18 pm]
1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal.

you know amber no matter how down i am you can always cheer me up-- so i started reading my friends page and i found this-- thanks!
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(no subject) [Jun. 20th, 2005|09:50 pm]
[Current Mood |indescribableindescribable]
[Current Music |making memories of us-- keith urban]

i need to vent and i need to cry! i thought i knew what was going on and the whole time i was in the dark.. how did this happen? i have given you everything more than i had before and you feel that you had more earlier than you do now? you said it yourself you feel that we are closer now than ever-- that's wonderful but how? what do you want? do you want a relationship or are we jsut friends because my dear you are driving me crazy by dragging me along! you know even when i was engaged i didn't give this much to anyone-- for the first time that i feel that i really find something special and i am ready to give it my all it gets shot right through the very thought of it.....

i'm very content right now but this weekend made me realize that i want more, i need more! i can't be the great friend that you sleep next to and whatever--- and i quote you "we might as well be together"
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT? i don't think you realize that by doing all this right now you are pushing me away.. as much as i can't and don't want to i may have to walk away and say you know what you were never right about him-- you should have listened to everyone

i know that's not right to think because i never listen to anyone and i know what we have is right i just wish you saw that too--- i wish you could see that almost everything i do is for you and of course myself

beth: you know on your MSN account how your sn is the def. of love
well, in church on saturday at the wedding the priest said that love is being a bestfriend and person that one can turn to in a time of need and they understand from all angles---for once i thought i had that and now i know i did but didn't have it back so ok no i didn't have it!

i can handle making a career move to houston but i can't handle you leaving for the summer like you are talking about-- i asked you what you thought because i care about you that much and i have that much faith in "us" or whatever this is........ how come you don't ask me what i think? is it that you don't care about me or "us" or are you just worried about you and only you?

am i being too nice?
do i want too much?
where do i stop and you begin? i don't know and i don't think you do either- we are together so much that we have inhibited each others habits and reflect each other as well as compliment one another

i love that we have that and i have been waiting for you to just see it

i know i'm repeating myself but i don't think you understand this at all--- open up and tell me please!


Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot . . .
. . . who calls you back when you hang up on him . . .
. . . who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead . . .
. . . who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats . . .
. . . who holds your hand in front of his friends . . .
. . . who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ". . . that's her."

Guys . . .

Find a girl who calls you BABE or baby face instead of HOT or SEXY . . .
. . . who can't stand it when you hang up on her . . .
. . . who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes . . .

Wait for the one who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most . . .
. . . who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips . . .
. . . who wants to be with you in public . . .
. . . who makes you smile just by knowing she loves/likes you back.

Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy.

Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always."
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Longest Weekend Ever! [Jun. 20th, 2005|02:04 pm]
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]
[Current Music |you are my everything***to the herzog's***]

so you know how a weekend starts on Friday? yeah well mine was like thursday night which is normal for a college student! i don't think i have ever been this tired in my life....
thursday-- pick up justin-- he can tell you if he wants
friday-- do things that i need to and then get on the road to go pick up jill and her dog bear so we can get to a wedding rehearsal but before i do that i screw up my back-- yay
alright so we get there and miss rehearsal and then go to dinner and then go see renee who is pissed off because "people" were screwing with jon the night before the wedding
i get a call at 11:30 saying "we're on the road i'll call you when we get there" alright that's fine with me but i go to get into bed at 1 and i still haven't heard anything -- i'm getting worried and i can't sleep-- 3 comes around and i'm still up but i finally get a drunk phone call, the one that i was waiting for but hoping that it was going to be sober--wrong i was!!! then i finally fall asleep and at 4:30 i wake up to a cat meowing because it wants to go downstairs-- not my house not taking care of it! so i go back to bed-- at 5:30 i wake up for no reason and then i do again at 6:30 and then at 7:10 in the morning-- now my back is still bothering me but i can't sleep anymore because i have to be up to get ready to get my hair done at 8:30 so i get there and the girl isn't done with lindsay's hair until 8:45 my hair doesn't get done until 9:45 and my make up appointment was at 9-- alright running lat but i'll be ok-- get my makeup done at 10:30 run to walmart and get back on the road at 11 for a 30 min car ride
i need to get my dress and get to the church to get ready and get pictures by 12 noon

1:30 ceremony- went great
2:30-3:15 pictures--fine
3:15-5:15 we get on the TAT bus which brought us to Farmers Tavern, Gillis', and PJ's where we all drank and what not
5:15 we arrive at the hall and we get introduced again by the dj and the song is final countdown-- i felt like i was at a piston's game--the guy that i walked with-justin- had to liven up the crowd by being shooter mcgavin and if you have seen happy gilmore you know what i'm talking about if not oh well

the night went great and had another drunk phone call at about 12:30 or so and passed out

the following morning i was up at 7:30 why i don't know spent some time with my mom and dad and the rest of my family and then came home-- got here about 5ish and was so tired i couldn't sleep one until after the piston's game grrrrrrrrrrrrrr and two until i saw someone-- even then i was wound up and too tired to sleep and i got emotional too-- thanks andy hahahaha

job hunting online and trying to sleep more-- maybe i'll feel rested at some point!!!

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