||[Jun. 20th, 2005|09:50 pm]
|||||making memories of us-- keith urban||]|
i need to vent and i need to cry! i thought i knew what was going on and the whole time i was in the dark.. how did this happen? i have given you everything more than i had before and you feel that you had more earlier than you do now? you said it yourself you feel that we are closer now than ever-- that's wonderful but how? what do you want? do you want a relationship or are we jsut friends because my dear you are driving me crazy by dragging me along! you know even when i was engaged i didn't give this much to anyone-- for the first time that i feel that i really find something special and i am ready to give it my all it gets shot right through the very thought of it.....
i'm very content right now but this weekend made me realize that i want more, i need more! i can't be the great friend that you sleep next to and whatever--- and i quote you "we might as well be together"
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT? i don't think you realize that by doing all this right now you are pushing me away.. as much as i can't and don't want to i may have to walk away and say you know what you were never right about him-- you should have listened to everyone
i know that's not right to think because i never listen to anyone and i know what we have is right i just wish you saw that too--- i wish you could see that almost everything i do is for you and of course myself
beth: you know on your MSN account how your sn is the def. of love
well, in church on saturday at the wedding the priest said that love is being a bestfriend and person that one can turn to in a time of need and they understand from all angles---for once i thought i had that and now i know i did but didn't have it back so ok no i didn't have it!
i can handle making a career move to houston but i can't handle you leaving for the summer like you are talking about-- i asked you what you thought because i care about you that much and i have that much faith in "us" or whatever this is........ how come you don't ask me what i think? is it that you don't care about me or "us" or are you just worried about you and only you?
am i being too nice?
do i want too much?
where do i stop and you begin? i don't know and i don't think you do either- we are together so much that we have inhibited each others habits and reflect each other as well as compliment one another
i love that we have that and i have been waiting for you to just see it
i know i'm repeating myself but i don't think you understand this at all--- open up and tell me please!
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot . . .
. . . who calls you back when you hang up on him . . .
. . . who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead . . .
. . . who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats . . .
. . . who holds your hand in front of his friends . . .
. . . who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ". . . that's her."
Guys . . .
Find a girl who calls you BABE or baby face instead of HOT or SEXY . . .
. . . who can't stand it when you hang up on her . . .
. . . who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes . . .
Wait for the one who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most . . .
. . . who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips . . .
. . . who wants to be with you in public . . .
. . . who makes you smile just by knowing she loves/likes you back.
Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy.
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always."